Life With Depression
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Dec
26

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Dec
26

It has been almost two years since the last time i was in the hospital, but still the struggle with my depression continues. We have continued to go through different medications and dosage’s and still have not found anything that will bring me back to a normal level of functioning. I know that part of my depression has to do with lack of a social life, however it is hard to get out there and meet people when i am not in school and have no job. My time consists mainly of sitting at home, finding things to do to entertain myself. I find that if i am away from home for too long my anxiety levels begin to increase dramatically. However, i know that i need to work on that and overcome it, but i am also a pretty shy person and unless i am at school or work i don’t approach people i know in person and begin talking to them.

I spend a lot of my time on the computer doing random things, but i do enjoy building websites and have built a website for my dad, he named his website A Shoebox of Memories I thoroughly enjoyed building the website and it definately kept me busy for a while. Looks as though i will be building a website for my mom soon as well and i look forward to that as it will take up some free time.

I find that the feelings of depression are still there in force. I feel down quite a bit, and definately feel lonely most of the time. I have one friend who lives in the area which i visit with every now and then, but even being out with someone i find that i have to force myself to stay out and not come back home. It almost feels as though i am still crying on the inside and i can feel myself beating to get out, wanting to have a normal life back, wanting to be able to finish my schooling and return to work, return to a social life, and not sit at home so much. I know that things are starting to get closer to that point and it is a matter of patience and continuing to fight, but i can’t stand this life style much longer.

Dec
26

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Dec
26

I have been through many medications trying to alleviate my depression, but i have also been unresponsive to many of those medications. After going through ECT treatments (shock therapy), and being unresponsive, i was started on a medication called Nardil. Nardil is a very old medication and comes with some food and drink restrictions, but is also very strong and has had some very good results with others. The Nardil seemed to be the only medication that had some effect. It did alleviate the depression to a certain degree but i was still having difficulties with my depression. After being on the Nardil for two years, playing with the dosage and also trying to introduce other medications with it, i was given three options as i was not getting any better

The first option was to introduce a new medication that would have a strong reaction with the Nardil, which was Ritalin. When mixed with the Nardil the effects are very strong and can do wonders for people with depression. However, there are some very high risks. When mixed with Nardil, Ritalin can drive the bloodpressure up extremely high causing stroke, heart attack, or even death.

The second option i was given was Trans Cranial Magnetic Stimulation or TCMS. How that works, basically, is by using high magnetics on either the right or left side of the brain which somehow helps to alleviate the depression. For some reason this can also cause a spike in blood pressure, and it is currently still in test stages.

The last option i was given is something called Deep Brain Stimulation or DBS. DBS involves surgery in which they put two neurotransmitters in the brain and then something like a pacemaker into the chest. That pacemaker sends small electrical shocks to the neurotransmitters throughout the day (almost like mini ECT treatments). It is still in the very beginning of the test stages and there is a chance that i could die on the operating table due to brain hemmoraging.

I decided to start with the first option given and today was the first day i started it. Because of the risks involved my psychiatrist had me go in to his office at the hospital so that he could monitor my vitals when i first took the meds just incase something went wrong. Oddly, instead of my blood pressure increasing, it actually decreased quite a bit. All was well and after a few hours i went home. The doctor advised me that if my blood pressure reached 150/100 or above and i had any symptoms of high blood pressure such as, dizziness, throbbing headache, numbness, etc. that i was to take a pill to lower my blood pressure and go straight to emerge. Again he stressed that i could have a stroke, heart attack, or die from trying the introduction of this pill because of the high blood pressure spike. So i decided it would be best to get a blood pressure measurer to have at home to keep a close eye over the next couple days and to have nearby incase i ever felt any of the symptoms.

After taking the second dose of the med my blood pressure seemed to hover around 145/98 going up or down slightly. As the night went on however, my blood pressure jumped to 167/107, but i wasn’t feeling any symptoms of high blood pressure, i felt fine. So i called TeleHealth to see if they thought i should still go into the hospital. They recommended that i go in since it had been increasing. I went into the hospital, and saw the doctor for maybe 3 minutes, where he told me i was fine, it was nothing to worry about as i had no symptoms, the blood pressure had come back down to 149/94.

I felt somewhat embarrassed, almost as though i had over reacted, but i felt that it was better to be safe than sorry. However, at least now i know that if my blood pressure is that high but i feel fine that there isn’t really anything to worry about unless i start to have any symptoms of high blood pressure.

Dec
24

information from: http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy…

is a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes the important role of thinking in how we feel and what we do.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy does not exist as a distinct therapeutic technique. The term “cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)” is a very general term for a classification of therapies with similarities. There are several approaches to cognitive-behavioral therapy, including Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Rational Behavior Therapy, Rational Living Therapy, Cognitive Therapy, and Dialectic Behavior Therapy.

However, most cognitive-behavioral therapies have the following characteristics:

1. CBT is based on the Cognitive Model of Emotional Response.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts
cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations,
and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to
feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

2. CBT is Briefer and Time-Limited.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is considered among the most rapid in terms of
results obtained. The average number of sessions clients receive (across all
types of problems and approaches to CBT) is only 16. Other forms of
therapy, like psychoanalysis,can take years. What enables CBT to be briefer
is its highly instructive nature and the fact that it makes use of homework
assignments. CBT is time-limited in that we help clients understand at the
very beginning of the therapy process that there will be a point when the formal
therapy will end. The ending of the formal therapy is a decision made by the
therapist and client. Therefore, CBT is not an open-ended, never-ending
process.

3. A sound therapeutic relationship is necessary for effective therapy, but
not the focus.
Some forms of therapy assume that the main reason people get better in
therapy is because of the positive relationship between the therapist and
client. Cognitive-behavioral therapists believe it is important to have a good,
trusting relationship, but that is not enough. CBT therapists believe that the
clients change because they learn how to think differently and they act on that
learning. Therefore, CBT therapists focus on teaching rational self-counseling
skills.

4. CBT is a collaborative effort between the therapist and the client.
Cognitive-behavioral therapists seek to learn what their clients want out of life
(their goals) and then help their clients achieve those goals. The therapist’s
role is to listen, teach, and encourage, while the client’s roles is to express
concerns, learn, and implement that learning.

For excellent cognitive-behavioral therapy self-help and professional books, audio presentations, and home-study training programs, please click here.

5. CBT is based on aspects of stoic philosophy.
Not all approaches to CBT emphasize stoicism. Rational Emotive
Behavior Therapy, Rational Behavior Therapy, and Rational Living
Therapy emphasize aspects of stoicism. Beck’s Cognitive Therapy is not
based on stoicism.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy does not tell people how they should feel.
However, most people seeking therapy do not want to feel they way they have
been feeling. The approaches that emphasize stoicism teach the benefits of
feeling, at worst, calm when confronted with undesirable situations. They also
emphasize the fact that we have our undesirable situations whether we are
upset about them or not. If we are upset about our problems, we have two
problems — the problem, and our upset about it. Most people want to have the
fewest number of problems possible. So when we learn how to more calmly
accept a personal problem, not only do we feel better, but we usually put
ourselves in a better position to make use of our intelligence, knowledge,
energy, and resources to resolve the problem.

6. CBT uses the Socratic Method.
Cognitive-behavioral therapists want to gain a very good understanding of
their clients’ concerns. That’s why they often ask questions. They also
encourage their clients to ask questions of themselves, like, “How do I
really know that those people are laughing at me?” “Could they be laughing
about something else?”

7. CBT is structured and directive.
Cognitive-behavioral therapists have a specific agenda for each session.
Specific techniques / concepts are taught during each session. CBT
focuses on the client’s goals. We do not tell our clients what their goals
“should” be, or what they “should” tolerate. We are directive in the sense that
we show our clients how to think and behave in ways to obtain what they
want. Therefore, CBT therapists do not tell their clients what to do — rather,
they teach their clients how to do.

8. CBT is based on an educational model.
CBT is based on the scientifically supported assumption that most emotional
and behavioral reactions are learned. Therefore, the goal of therapy is to
help clients unlearn their unwanted reactions and to learn a new way of
reacting.

Therefore, CBT has nothing to do with “just talking”. People can “just talk”
with anyone.

The educational emphasis of CBT has an additional benefit — it leads to
long term results. When people understand how and why they are doing
well, they know what to do to continue doing well.

9. CBT theory and techniques rely on the Inductive Method.
A central aspect of Rational thinking is that it is based on fact. Often, we
upset ourselves about things when, in fact, the situation isn’t like we think it
is. If we knew that, we would not waste our time upsetting ourselves.

Therefore, the inductive method encourages us to look at our thoughts as
being hypotheses or guesses that can be questioned and tested. If we find
that our hypotheses are incorrect (because we have new information), then we
can change our thinking to be in line with how the situation really is.

10. Homework is a central feature of CBT.
If when you attempted to learn your multiplication tables you spent only one
hour per week studying them, you might still be wondering what 5 X 5
equals. You very likely spent a great deal of time at home studying your
multiplication tables, maybe with flashcards.

The same is the case with psychotherapy. Goal achievement (if obtained)
could take a very long time if all a person were only to think about the
techniques and topics taught was for one hour per week. That’s why CBT
therapists assign reading assignments and encourage their clients to
practice the techniques learned.

Dec
24

The Lifeworks Joy Inventory – (Depression Test) Click Here
A Free Psychological Testing Instrument for Use by Clinicians and the General Public
There are a range of symptoms which make up a diagnosis of depression, and the following test is just one of the ways in which your doctor may assess your mood. By all means take this test and share it freely with family and friends, but also take time to read the notes below.

Never self diagnose, because even though you may have the full range of symptoms of depression, it’s very possible that the cause may be a medical condition and not depression at all! Since choice of therapy depends absolutely on getting the diagnosis right, it’s essential that although this test may be an indication of depression, you still work with your doctor in order to achieve an accurate diagnosis.

Although the Relieving Depression Program is safe for everyone, it’s possible that additional help might be required if factors other than depression are at play.


HME-I v2.3 Depression Level Test


7 Best Free Depression Tests

Dec
24

What is depression?

It’s impossible to escape life’s ups and downs. Feeling unhappy or sad in response to disappointment, loss, frustration or a medical condition is normal. Many people use the word “depression” to explain these kinds of feelings, but that is really situational depression, which is a normal reaction to events around us. Clinical depression, though, overwhelms and engulfs your day to day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. It is unrelenting, with little if any relief.

Are you clinically depressed?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.

* you can’t sleep enough or you sleep too much
* you can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult
* you feel worthless and hopeless
* you can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try
* you have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating
* you are constantly irritated or become enraged even at small things – and this is new for you
* you have thoughts that life is not worth living, or have a plan for how you would end it (Seek help immediately if this is the case)

Depression Signs and Symptoms
Clinical depression is distinguished from situational depression by length and severity

Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness

A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.

Loss of interest in dailly activities

No interest in or ability to enjoy former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex.

Appetite or weight changes

Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.

Sleep changes

Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).

Psychomotor agitation or retardation

Either feeling “keyed up” and restless or sluggish and physically slowed down.

Self-loathing

Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Harsh criticism of perceived faults and mistakes.

Concentration problems

Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

Dec
24

My name is Richard Bailey, i am 25 years old and currently live in Canada. I have been dealing with depression since the age of 11 and at the age of 21 i was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 with severe depression. I am still undergoing medical treatment and home to soon start treatment with a therapist or psychiatrist as well.

On this blog i will do my best to keep information posted about depression and/or bipolar as well as give some stories about myself how things are going, what’s going on and some things that i have been through.

If you would like to see any information on any other mental health illness, please contact me via email at rbailey83@hotmail.com with a subject of your blog and i will do my best to have information provided for that illness as well.

Thank you

Richard