Well lately i seem to be riding an emotional roller coaster. I am up and down with my mood, going from a light depression to a severe depression and back. I have had suicidal urges but i still have control over those urges so i have not gone into the hospital as of yet to seek help. I also have been feeling like doing something but nothing seems to be interesting to me, i am very restless and very bored throughout the day because of the lack of interest in anything.
I have asked my psych to give me medications to completely calm and sedate myself throughout the day but the medication he gave me seems to not be having any type of effect. It is driving me nuts this restless feeling but lack of interest in anything. Anything i do start to try and do i usually loose interest within ten to fifteen minutes of starting.
Not being able to attend school was a big blow and i know that has had some impact to the way my emotions have been but i would have thought it would have evened out by now. So for the time being i will just continue to go to the DBT (Dialectic Behavioral Therapy) group. I am not getting much out of the group as it is not a group meant for people who suffer from depression, It is mostly for people with borderline personality disorder, but my social workers wanted me to take the group course for the 1 year that it runs and i agreed to do it. Although i have to say that i wish i hadn’t now but at least it gets me out once a week doing something for two hours.
